SQL RAP Contest!

I’ve been surprised at how many messages I’ve received regarding the SQL RAP I hastily wrote last night, like:

loriedwards: @sqlfool Much love for your sql rap. Does this make you an MC DBA?

AndyLeonard: Green tea all over my laptop monitor – this is hilarious @sqlfool !

Jimmy May: OMG!!! I am howling!!! All y’all have soitenly gotten me beat. So to speak…

If you haven’t read Ward’s excellent response to my poor excuse for a rap, you can find it on his blog. Ward beat me soundly (I definitely “hit a nuke with rubber bands!”), but in my defense, I did not know he was an accomplished singer and song writer! The most musical talent I have is beating Guitar Hero on the Hard difficulty mode. Hey, it’s impressive if you’re me. 🙂

But what I’ve been surprised to find, aside from Ward’s musical genius, is how many *other* DBA’s are inclined to spin a little rhyme:

SQLChicken: @sqlfool you know w/ who u be messin?Take your broke ass rhymes and learn this lesson.I’ll purge u like bad data,so step off and see u lata!

mike_walsh: @sqlfool – @sqltwit thinks he’s a master of prose but the emperors got no clothes. Webcam? What a sham… #sqlrapsaga

jeffrush: @sqlfool @sqltwit @andyleonard you are all crazy like an orange / rhyming isn’t hard at… DOH!

Clearly, we need to give these folks an avenue to vent their repressed rhythms; the last thing we need is more maniacal DBA’s running around. So here’s my chance to save the world here’s your chance to show off your rap skillz. I am officially throwing down the proverbial gauntlet to the ENTIRE WORLD the SQL Server and .NET community to submit your own SQL RAP.

Why should you participate? Well, for street cred, of course! Oh, you want something more? How about a shiny new iPod Touch?

Now that I have your attention, here’s the rules:

  • Your rap has to be original, but may parody existing songs.
  • Your rap has to relate to SQL Server in some form; the geekier, the better. Bonus points for working SQL Server 2008 features or SQL bloggers into the song.
  • You only need to submit the lyrics to your song. Bonus points for video and/or audio accompaniments.

Meet your judges:

Brent Ozar – a SQL Server expert by trade and a smart-ass at heart, Brent will be judging your rap on its overall entertainment value.

Ward Pond – a SQL Server guru by day, songwriter by night, Ward will be judging your rap’s overall “musical flow”… whatever that means.

Michelle Ufford – she’s already proved she has no ability to rap, but it’s her contest, so she gets to be a judge. She’ll be judging your song on its je ne sais quoi… literally.

Realistically, we may not get that many submissions, so this may be the best odds you ever have at winning something. Plus, I hear Brent is pretty easy to bribe.

Send your raps to me at michelle @ sqlfool dot com.  The deadline for submissions is 8pm CST on Monday, 18 May 2009. I’ll post the entries and the winners around a week after that, depending on how busy I am. 🙂

So what are you waiting for? Go throw on some Snoop and/or a Kimberly Tripp webcast and get rappin’!

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the RSS feed to have future articles delivered to your feed reader.
Tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to SQL RAP Contest!

  1. Pingback: Ward Pond's SQL Server blog

  2. Mike Walsh says:

    Alright, since I got into the fray I figured I’d submit some raps… What the hay..

    You’ll notice I didn’t post them on my blog. That’s how bad they are! I submitted an R&B number without rhyming… Presuming that wouldn’t count, I also gave a rap..

  3. Chuck says:

    Oh, puhleaze….it’s bad enough that we have to have rap inflicted on us everywhere we go these days.

    My $0.02 worth….

  4. Hi Chuck! No worries, I understand and respect your opinion. I’m actually not a big fan of rap myself. We’re just having a little fun, and this blog will soon return to it’s regular content, as soon as I get through my house move! 🙂

  5. EG says:

    im in here =D

  6. Pingback: Rap Contest Ends Tonight! : SQL Fool

  7. Pingback: More SQLServerPedia Syndicated Bloggers | Brent Ozar - SQL Server DBA

  8. Pingback: SQL Server and Cloud Links for the Week | Brent Ozar - SQL Server DBA

  9. Pingback: SQL Rap Contest Results! : SQL Fool

  10. DJ- GZ Foce says:

    Yo u wanna hear my rap im Dj-GZ Force

  11. DJ- GZ Foce says:

    Here it is and its called
    Gamin at my crib:
    Yo i got a Xbox and a Ps3
    N i also got a wii
    Yo i be chlling all day and gamin all nite
    Modern Warfare 2 yee i do it rite
    Ima player but i ainght a fraud
    2k10 im like a damn god
    Thats rite u cant beat me im untouchable
    Yea got my *****es n im resistable
    im done 4 now cuz ive said enough
    u ainght got shit on me this ainght a bluff

  12. james walls says:


  13. james walls says:

    u thinkin you hard with the words u spit, fuck that i get the nine bitch i dont talk shit, ill tell ya one time bitch ya might wanna quit, ill be droppin these rhymes on ya fuckin casket, my flow is sick son dont try ta match it, cannon in my hand i dont talk i blast it, so walk ya talk, il get the first and the last hit, caps past ya ass have ya bitchass dancin

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *